So I’ve decided that our dinnertime is pretty much a shit show.
Don’t get me wrong – nutritionally, we do a really great job, I think. We start off with a vegetable course, and once my daughter is finished with hers we serve protein, and once she finishes that we serve a carbohydrate. And we cook dinner from scratch 99% of the time.
But … OMG, I am a freaking jack-in-the-box come dinnertime! I’m up and down so much my chair is stone cold by the end of the meal. Do you think I’m joking? Sadly, no! I get up when:
- The next course needs serving.
- Toddler needs more water because she drank it all.
- Toddler wants ice in her water.
- I forgot to take out the cheese grater.
- Toddler needs ketchup to eat her chicken.
- Toddler requests relish for her chicken, too.
- Baby’s vegetables, cut up on my plate, are cool enough to be put on her tray.
- I need a new napkin because I just used mine to wipe up toddler’s spilled water/food or baby’s face (because I forgot to get a wet paper towel ready earlier, just in case).
- I want another piece of meat or serving of pasta/rice/etc that’s on the counter. Or husband or toddler wants more. Yes, I sit closest to the kitchen counter.
- Baby has refused to eat what I served her, and now I have to find some other food for her. Cue: baby puffs!
- Toddler has refused to eat her meat or something – usually something delicious like homemade macaroni and cheese … I mean, come on! – and I have to figure out something else for her to eat. You know, in case she starves.
- Toddler has to pee or poop. Off to the bathroom!
- Baby’s goes red, she grunts, and out pops a smelly turd. Cries ensue … time for a diaper change!
- I need to pop my food in the microwave because it’s cool.
- Toddler and baby are done eating, so I need to wipe them and get them down.
- I get up to … wait, no, I can eat my dinner now.
So, I think I need to start counting the number of times I get up during a meal. This is the making of a drinking game* to best any college student’s favorite!
Good thing I don’t mind cold food anymore. Much.
*JUST KIDDING … I do not condone drinking while kids are awake. Although once they’re in bed … pop that cork, papa!