Baby is 11 months old now (!!!!!!), and all that means to me is she getting soooo close to that 12m mark – my goal for breastfeeding. In all reality, I’ll be nursing her beyond that mark, since we’re currently at 4 nursings and I also nurse her before her afternoon nap. No way we’ll be done in 4 weeks, and I’m fine with that.
I really am.
Even though I’ve been dying to stop breastfeeding since the day she was born (I just don’t enjoy it – sorry kiddo), I’ve stuck with it, through blebs and bad latches and so much biting. It could’ve been worse, though, so I’ve convinced myself over and over to keep Baby at the boob, and I’m happy I have.
I CAN’T WAIT TO BE DONE! You know what I’m looking forward to?! This list:
- No more cuts on my nipples … because having an open wound (even a small cut from a bite) sucked – hard – several times a day is, in a word, excruciating.
- Support for the girls. Moms, you know what I mean! Bye-bye, nursing bras!
- Shirts with high necklines and no front opening?? I can wear those again?! But … really?! I CAN WEAR THE OTHER 75% OF MY CLOSET AGAIN!!!!!!
- No more milk pump! The only thing worse than having your boobs pulled painfully by a tiny, uncoordinated mouth is having a cold mechanical gizmo yanking at them at a tortuously regular rhythm.
- Not having to hear Toddler say, “Mom, I want you to stop feeding Baby -” anymore. #brokenmomheart #jealoustoddler
… there are some things I’ll miss when it ends. I didn’t realize it until I started writing this. Either my mommy heart is growing, Grinch-style, or I really did like breastfeeding after all….
- Loss of bonding time. With a toddler around (who doesn’t nap), we don’t often have much mommy-Baby time alone. When nursing’s done, I fear we’ll have none. Sadface.
- Dependence, though a downer, is comforting for a mom, too – it makes you feel needed and loved, even if it’s literally because of your baby’s survival instinct.
- Putting a crying baby at the boob is instantly calming. Teething problem at 3:17am? Nursing time! Baby is learning to walk but face planted and is now crying hysterically? Nursing time! Baby is starving and needs milk NOW? Pop out the boob in less time than it takes to even think about what solid food meal she could eat. Now I’ll have to work much harder to calm her down (yet I recognize she needs to grow up and learn more self-soothing skills).
- Having to be careful about my diet again. No more “free calories” just because I’m breastfeeding. No more second helpings at dinner!
- Another milestone, another reminder that Baby is growing up and growing, inch by chubby inch, away from mommy. And clench goes my heart….
How do you moms feel about the end of breastfeeding? Bittersweet or a relief?