Things That Don’t Faze Your Kid (But We Wouldn’t Stand!)

You know those kids running around looking like an infant version of a hot mess? Of course you do, because that is every kid, everywhere, at some point.

Boogery, poopy, dirty – you name it, they’re covered in it. But do they notice? Nope! It’s only we parents who insist the situation be fixed up pronto. Because … why wouldn’t we? Better still to wonder, why don’t they want to fix it?

Think about this list in reverse – if we were the ones afflicted with some discomfort, how would we feel? Let’s explore, shall we?

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Still smiles! Tell me you wouldn’t let this happen to you, parents….

  1. Big crusty boogers in your nostrils. You feel something hard and dry in your nose, and it’s so big it makes your nose whistle when you exhale – do you leave it there? Of course not! (Let’s hope you use a tissue.)
  2. Poop in your diaper. I mean, if I’d just shit out a warm, squishy, stinky turd, I would certainly want that attended to immediately. And I would most definitely not feel at ease to sit on the nearest lap so the poop can get even more squished into my rear crevices.
  3. Food, especially wet or sticky, in your hair. Or in your ear loops. Or on your chest, right where the top of the bib doesn’t cover anymore – skin or shirt, that is not pleasant. Or on your eyelashes. Please tell me how a child can continue eating with couscous on her eyelashes yet throws a fit if one tiny drop of water lingers on an eyelash during bathtime. Come on!
  4. Dirt under your fingernails. Which adult doesn’t scrub their hands and nails right after working outside? No one, because we all want clean hands, especially if we’re going to eat a yummy snack with our hands after. But our kiddos? No prob, Bob! Dirt tastes good, don’t you know? Or maybe they don’t even see it … or feel tiny sand bits crammed under their nails, I guess.
  5. Snow … everywhere it shouldn’t be: inside your boots, down your jacket (front and back, likely), up your jacket, and peeking inside your sleeves. We are not Elsa; the cold does bother us (okay, it bothers this mom)! But some kids are seriously immune … must be that baby blubber … erm, I mean baby fat.
  6. Sleeping without a blanket wrapped snugly around you at all times – i.e., a blanket tangled somewhere south of your knees instead of just south of your chin pretty much all night. You see some kids with their blanket anywhere but its prime functioning location, and they apparently sleep through the night just fine. How?! Toddler is like that; refuses to be covered with more than a thin blanket, preferably knitted with holes in it, and come morning there is not one square inch of it over her body. Me? I need a sheet and a fluffy down comforter sealing me tightly so not a single BTU of body heat escapes during the night. Don’t even get me started on Mr. Blanket Stealer, who of course strikes whenever I have to wake in the middle of the night for the girls.

What do you have to add to the list? Are your kids as easygoing about this stuff as mine are?

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