Does anyone like going grocery shopping? I mean, actually enjoy it?
Umm, I kind of used to; I guess I like food, and I like cooking and finding new ingredients, so I’ve always liked more than disliked this chore (it’s much better than cleaning toilets … or ironing!). Until I had two children – now it is THE WORST chore ever.
One kid in the cart I can handle – the occasional meltdown is doable. But two kids in tow … no thank you! They are cute but sure make the trip take about 50% longer. And make me forget things on my list because I’m concentrating on controlling them.
Okay, Baby in the cart is easy. Toddler walking with me is now becoming a (cute) hindrance. Let me just give you a rundown of how our last trip went. Go ahead, laugh it up.
This was the first time I was going to to the grocery store by myself in a few months – not since Baby could be carried in a front-pack carrier (could it have been that long ago?!) – since my husband is usually kind enough to meet me there after work, or I go by myself on the weekend or after he gets home from work. But, I was confident I could handle things.
We started in the produce section, where usually Toddler stays right near me and keeps her hands to herself. But this time she grabbed all the fruit she could fine – so I told her to put down the nectarines (she doesn’t even like peaches or nectarines). “We don’t touch food we’re not going to buy,” I said about six times that day.
She dropped a bag of green grapes on the floor in the 2.5 seconds it took me to go 4 feet to get a plastic bag – for the red grapes we were going to buy.
Yeah – I was that mom who left kid-ruined produce on the floor. (I did push it out of the way, though. Why isn’t there a garbage bin handy?!)
Two minutes later, Toddler started waving a sweet potato around (granted, it was shaped like a maraca), then dropped it … at which point it split into two. I actually added the bigger half to our bag, figuring I could use it for something. Again, I told her to keep her hands to herself unless she was helping me bag veggies I handed to her.
And then of course Toddler insisted on helping me push the cart the whole way, so it was quite a slow trip. Toddler speed is … glacial … compared to my typical grocery store haul-ass speed.
We made it to the checkout line an hour later, and we’d just started unloading when Toddler said she had to pee. Of course. I asked if she could wait until we’re done checking out, at least; she said yes. I mean, how the heck would I take her to the bathroom at that point?!
(Silently I was praying for her not to pee in the checkout line. I plan on going to this store every week for the next decade, for goodness sake.)
With five items left to scan, Toddler reminded me she had to pee. Again I asked if she could wait until we were done, and she said yes. Mind you, she peed right before we left home, it’d been 3 hours since she’d had a significant beverage, and she can typically go 3 hours without peeing. So I hurried it up, finished paying, and brought her to the bathroom – and left our cart full of bagged groceries outside the bathroom door.
Did I mention Baby had started to fuss right when we started checking out? Of course. (I don’t blame her; I was about at that point, too.)
She peed just a trickle, naturally, but I had to hold her on the big seat because somehow in the last few months we lost our portable and foldable potty seat. And I also had to distract Baby with my purse so she wouldn’t wander and touch stuff. Gross.
Well, I thought we were home free … but as we were loading the car I asked Toddler where her stuffed unicorn was – the one who came into the store in her arms but was now nowhere to be found….
No way was I going back into the store for that, cute as Unicorn (“Uniken”) is. Plus we already should’ve been home getting dinner ready. So, gently and carefully I told her we’d call the store and ask if it made it to Lost and Found; somehow I avoided a tantrum! They didn’t have it yet, but later that night they found it – and we got Uniken back the next day. Crisis averted.
That was a long trip – literally and figuratively. 1.5 hours. So tired. It makes me really miss child-free days like no other outing can do to me. Can I do this again with both kids, or is it time to use the Shop from Home service?! Does anyone else do that?