Let me just preface this by saying that I love my two little girls, now 13m and almost 3.5y. They are adorable and a lot of fun. I truly love them to bits.
But they are, especially the younger, babies. Crying, fussy, tantrumy, picky, no-napping, stubborn babies.
I actually enjoy kids, so much so that I’m bouncing around the idea of teaching after this SAHM stint ends. But I’m really not a baby person – and I do not feel guilty about that.
Some people really go gaga for squishy babies, but I am not one of them. When a newborn is paraded around, I literally walk the other way. I mean, I get as excited as any other mom about tiny baby clothes (my heart isn’t made of ice), but those newborn shrieks and exploding poopy diapers and rotten spit up and endless breastfeeding … NO. Give me homework struggles and school age drama any day.
Are you other moms excited for your kids to grow up too, or is it just me? I can’t wait until my girls are old enough that we can go hiking together, cook a meal without my nano-supervision, take a girls-only day trip, and do projects or crafts (grown up crafts, not the pom-pom and glitter crap Toddler makes now) together. I know people say, “Enjoy every day; they grow up so fast,” blah blah blah … but what if I want them to grow up? Just a little.
I don’t want them to speed through life so fast that I miss it, but I just think I’ll enjoy their last 14-15 years at home more than their first 3-4. This baby stage is hard and tiring– especially if you’re not a baby person. I love being a SAHM and I’m thankful/grateful that I can, but on the long days I can’t help looking forward to the future fun more than tomorrow.
I have great memories of my mom, older sister, and I going school clothes shopping in the fall … and having picnic lunches outside in the summer … taking girls-only trips to Door County, WI … and just hanging around playing and laughing. I’d be lying if I said I can’t wait to recreate that with my little family. Now, please.
I can’t wait for … sleepovers! Hearing my girls have intelligent (or at least coherent) conversations with each other! Listening to what my daughters think about a book they read! Visiting a museum with them! Going to a dance recital! Staying up late to watch fireworks on July 4th! Going to the 11pm church service on Christmas Eve!
Am I alone in this? You moms with a great mix of ages in your family … is the older stage better?
welcometothenursery 
Lucky you. What if you had 2. Boys?
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Maybe Husband would be a SAHD…. !!!! 😮
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Maybe you would try one more time
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I have a boy and a girl, and I’d say I straddle the fence on this topic. I was utterly clueless with my oldest… I remember sitting and staring at her while she rolled around on the floor thinking, “What do I do with this thing?” I was NOT into her baby stage. But with my second, my boy, I was all about baby snuggles and nursing and coo’ing for hours. It really had a lot to do with their individual personalities I believe. My girl came out of the womb independent and sassy and my boy is calm and lovey.
I think my favorite ages are going to be the 4-10 range. Grocery trips without incoherent toddlers, library outings with kids that understand the concept of volume, days without wiping someone’s rear… Ahhh, yes.
I tremble at the thought of my daughter’s teenage years lol! I was a hot mess as a teen, and I fear karma!
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So you have the best of both worlds, in other words. Ahem about not wiping someone else’s butt! And volume control….ahh….
I’d guess probably 6-12/14 will be great. My oldest is 3.5, and i think 4 will still be “young!”
Good luck with the karma….
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Psssst….. I’m not a baby person either. I really do not go goo goo gaa gaa over them, it’s just not me. But it’s such a short amount of time and then it starts to get better. Really not sure if I could have another and go though the baby stage again though😞😴😟
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Oh… it makes me feel so good to know I’m not alone!! It is such a short time – even with #2 it’s gone by quickly (even more quickly?!). But it is still tough some days. I crave conversation!!! I hear ya about wondering if going through it again is possible … I’m feeling the same way about debating #3! Once your little guy gets old enough, though, he’ll make you forget about the baby stage … I swear that’s how it happens!!
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Ho ho, maybe I will forget the baby stage in time. It’s still very fresh in my mind at the moment. So…. baby no 3, would you?
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Oh man… We’re still leaving it on the table, but haven’t discussed it. I think we’d wait a while before having another, though. Need to discuss the space and financial impact – going to 3 from 2 kids seems much bigger than from 1 to 2. Everyone tells us that family EVERYTHING is designed for 4 people, not 5. Sigh. We’ll see. I know it’s early for you to plan, too, but are you thinking of 2?
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You know what, I secretly want number 2 but I am not sure how I would cope at the moment. Plus I would be worried for my job. After returning from my maternity leave, I had the most awful time. We shall see. It sounds like you might be tempted for that third though 🤗
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There’s no harm in waiting! We had our second at 2.25y, and it was too soon! Bad timing with the toddler’s cognitive development stage…. I’m sorry you had a hard time; I don’t know how that feels, but I can imagine it’s stressful and piles on a lot of emotion and guilt on top of all the usual mommy emotions! 😮 I think for us the grandparents are cheering for #3 the loudest, of course. Hahaha!
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I feel the same way! I do not love babies, actually try not to have to hold one for long. I don’t mind the diapers, but I want to be talking and doing stuff at a higher level than four or five year old.
My fondest memories are of doing things with my older girls, picnics on every beach we could find, shopping in neat places and going on Mother/Daughter jaunts! Sigh, it does go so fast, but the best part is ahead of you.
I think more people should be having at least three kids, or we aren’t doing much more than replacing themselves, not adding to the population. Those that are having more, often times shouldn’t be the ones having more! Just saying…… { I so wanted more, but to no end, unfortunately.}
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Yup.. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, that’s for sure. Babies sure are cute, but not being able to communicate with them is frustrating. And having toddler conversations all day (circular, one-sided, full of non-sequiturs…) is just tiring.
Good point on our population just replacing ourselves…
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Oh for some reason I just now saw this….My favorite stage is 3 to 9 months, which I guess makes me a baby person. But before 3 months when you don’t get to sleep AT ALL, and from 9 months to 4-5 years when you feel like you’re in an alternate reality dimension and time implodes on itself…no I’m not really wanting to do that again. It’s super nice when you can sit down at a mixed event and eat with other adults while the kids go running off and playing and you don’t have to worry TOO much about what they’ll destroy next.
I do have one sweet/funny memory from when my kids were little and were sharing a bed (because the house we were living in at the time only had the space for 2 beds, this is why I think the tiny house movement is bollocks, but that’s a separate post), anyway, they were sleeping in the same bed, and one morning I heard them wake up and have a full-on two-way conversation with each other. The younger one was maybe 22 months old? It made me so happy, sometimes it carries me through the fights they have now!
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Yes, you’re so right that from 9m until 4-5 years it’s just gogogo with no real break for the parents. We were just at a birthday party today at which we couldn’t really enjoy ourselves (yet again) because we were keeping track of our kids. I really can’t wait until they’re a few years older and can play on their own with less supervision! I was JUST talking about this to my husband.
What a great memory! That must have been so adorable to listen to. Such honest love for each other…. Thanks for sharing that!
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