Do They Know We’re Faking It?

/ welcometothenursery

No, I’m not talking about that (besides, who could compare with this Seinfeld episode?!).

I’m talking about when we fake emotions with our kids. Let’s face it, sometimes we’re tired – of the whining, the same questions over and over, pretending it’s fun to act out a Sofia movie or book scene for the eleventh time that day, or building the same thing out of blocks yet again just to have it knocked over.

It’s exhausting to be enthusiastic every minute your children are awake … yet we don’t want them to think we’re not interested in what they’re doing … don’t care … or don’t love them enough to pay attention.

It’s a fine, tired line, right? So what do I do? I fake it.

Yep, I summon up all my false emotion and energy and fake enthusiasm some days. Sometimes it’s just a moment here or there to get through, say, reading a Dora the Explorer book (adios, Dora!!). Sometimes I’m so incredibly annoyed I need to take a deep breath, smile wide, and sugar coat my voice for a false-happy response.

Other times a whole day needs some serious faking. Else I might slip into a scary yelling monster mama. Yikes.

I guess this is my way of controlling my emotions.

But I wonder … do my kids notice?

I’m sure Baby doesn’t. But Toddler might. Can she tell the difference between my honestly happy voice and my I’m-trying-not-elevate-my-voice-into-a-scream voice? Boy, I try realllly hard to make them sound the same. Same decibels, not too high-pitched on the fake side, not too sappy when I’m honestly happy.

Please tell me I’m not the only mom to fake it sometimes. Please? And if you do, do you think your kids notice too?

19 thoughts on “Do They Know We’re Faking It?”

  2. Definitely not the only one to fake it! Sometimes, I just don’t bother faking it. Most times I do. The 4 year old has picked up on my faking though. I hear it in his tone of voice sometimes when he’s trying to be patient with his little sister or brother.

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  3. I fake it sometimes, but I also let my grumpy flag fly freely sometimes too. There are times I suck it up and play along, but my kids are both old enough to understand “I don’t want to play right now” is a legit mommy feeling. I tell myself it’s important for them to learn independent play and respect for emotional limitations. AKA “Here’s some Legos, leave me alone.”

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    • Phew! I like how you keep it real. You are 100% right that it’s legit and completely okay to not want to play with them every minute they’re awake. I like how you worded that: “it’s important for them to learn … respect for emotional limitations.” Thank you for that – you are causing me to rethink my whole outlook on this issue and remember that I am a person with my own feelings and desires while still being a mom who also respects their feelings. A+ blogging interaction day!!! 😀

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  5. I just let them see my range of emotions so they will know how to let out frustration and boredom when they get older. No need to fake it- your kids will know you better than anyone else! And it’s funny when you lose it and they just laugh. They get it and they can even help you through it !

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    • I’m glad that works for your kids! They are probably quite mature. 🙂 I’m not sure my 3yo is capable of dealing with all of my emotions yet. She tends to mirror mine, so if I’m feeling off that day it becomes an off day for her, too. If I get upset, she starts yelling and asking for a timeout… ugh, it’s a disaster. I try to keep firm and calm, no emotion. I learned the trick from “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Ages 2-12” and it seems to work well for us so far….

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