My Neighbors Must Think We’re Torturing Our Kids

Do you ever wonder what your neighbors really think of you? If you live with your windows down and curtains open, there’s probably no question, but the rest of us who who have only occasional contact with Those Who Live Next Door … what do they think of us?

I really could care less what they think, if I’m honest. But I do sometimes wonder Getty Imageswhenever things get a little crazy on our lot. It crosses my mind that what they hear can be drastically misinterpreted.

Like most (all?) households with more than one small child, there are occasionally – and by occasionally I of course mean daily – periods of loud, intense crying during the day. Screaming matches. Serious toy fights with things thrown and cranial-splitting shrieks. Never-ending sobs.

Can those in the house next door hear us? Do they wonder if we just let our kids sit in their rooms and cry? You never really know what goes on behind closed doors – no matter how nice you think your neighbors are – so who knows if they hear half an hour of on-again-off-again deathly screams and think crazy nuthouse torture chamber?*

(*I’m only kidding.)

But when my kids are in the backyard and start screaming at a high tone well over 100 dB – for a good few minutes straight – our neighbors have no other explanation than serious injury, abuse, or murder (obviously). There is no muffling behind walls! Last week I actually wondered if the husband (who we’d seen in his front yard just minutes prior) was going to run over and make sure he didn’t need to call the cops. Squish was unfairly using her “I’m mortally wounded” cry instead of her “I’m so freaking tired and need a nap” cry (damn sneaky no-napping preschoolers).

I mean, if it was me in the other yard and I heard intense screaming and crying, I would probably walk over to make sure everything’s okay. Wouldn’t you?

So why was Squish crying?

She didn’t want to swing on our swingset after all, even though we went outside to do just that….

More proof that with young children you just can’t win….

So what would your neighbors think of you?

14 thoughts on “My Neighbors Must Think We’re Torturing Our Kids

  1. I figure if a kid is screaming bloody murder, it probably means the kid ISN’T being abused, because an abusive parent would knock that kid’s block off well before it got to that point, so the kid would be afraid to make any noise at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my, my son does the same thing trust me you aren’t the only parent lol. When we open our windows when its nice out, not 10 mins later my son will throw the worst temper tantrum or start screaming bloody murder, so I’ve to shut all the windows, and our property line is 10 feet off our neighbors,AWESOME!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow, he sure knows how to keep it real, eh? It’s embarrassing …. but I do remind myself that kids are kids, and this is perfectly normal. But even though my neighbors have had kids (they’re older), I just bet they’ve lost their understanding of littles!


  3. Clearly no good can come from giving your kid what they ask for!

    Our neighbors probably think we’re assholes who never give our kids what they want. That’s certainly what the kids seem to think at times!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahahaha! I actually wonder this like every other day! I have five kids and I homeschool so things can get kind of crazy sometimes. Either you hear a baby crying, toddler screaming, or teens fighting when they have free time. Then, every now and then you will hear me yell so that all the madness will stop lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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